A Philosophical Happy Hour focused on the question of friendship: its nature, deepening, and the necessity of others with whom we share the search for the good.
I have spent much of my life alone. The youngest in my family, I began homeschooling in fourth grade, and continued until I started community college, before transitioning to a tiny four-year residential college in Georgia. It took time, but I made friends at that institution, some of whom I keep to this day. After, I went to graduate school in Houston, where friends were made quickly—with most of whom I remain quite close. But, yet, I still spend, and have spent much time in the intervening years, alone.
Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. One can be surrounded by people and feel very lonely—one may, in fact, experience that loneliness-amidst-others intensified. So too, one can be alone and feel connected: through books, letters, memories. What these signs of companionship provide is awareness of being together, and especially of being together in common purpose.
Sadly, many today seem to lack such companionship. They are united by fragile and short-lived purposes. They do not share in true goods, but only in useful ones. “The good” is understood to mean, “my good” and “your good”—which might overlap but is not truly common. “The good” is understood to be individual. Under such conditions, even many friendships which seemed deep and binding may quickly fall apart.
Good for Its Own Sake
In his “last lecture” at Georgetown University, after teaching there for 34 years, the brilliant and witty Jesuit priest, Fr. James V. Schall, remarked that, “I cannot tell you how many students, men and women, over the years, who have told me that they always wondered why sports were said to be frivolous, while they themselves found them to be so fascinating and to mean so much to them. Sports, in their own way, though not all that is, alert us to things that exist for their own sakes, and hence to things that do not merely pass away.”
Hustling, acquiring, optimizing—these are the “virtues” of an individualistic society. As such, the idea of something existing “for its own sake” seems irrational. Watching sports (or playing them for fun rather than money), for instance, might be seen as a catharsis of pent-up emotions—and thus serve a purpose, but certainly not be for its own sake. But, as Schall observed, fans find the experience meaningful—not just useful. There seems something simply good about sports, and this appears doubly so when the contest is not about money, or fame, but simply striving for excellence. If you do not believe me, watch just the first thirty seconds of this video.
But it is very hard to see, let alone to understand, things that are good for their own sakes if we view them alone.
Making the Good Resound
One of the most telling aspects of the above video: the players celebrate together. They cannot wait to celebrate together, to hug each other, to crush each other in joy. Even the athlete victorious in an individual sport—tennis, skiing—though he or she may celebrate the moment alone, looks soon for others with whom that good can be shared: spouses, parents, siblings, children, friends. A good possessed by the individual alone soon grows dull. A good shared with others resounds.
Most especially, it seems to me, the good that appears most clearly—that, in fact, cannot appear at all—without others: truth. The individualist lacking in genuine friendships, it seems to me, may have information, and perhaps even a great deal; he might have a genuine expertise in some subject and he might be eminently useful to others. But he has neither truth nor knowledge; at least, not in any true sense.
Friendship in Truth
Read Fr. Schall’s “Final Gladness”—it is short, witty, and brings common objects into new light, including friendship.
Then join us this Wednesday (4 March 2026, from 5:45-7:15+ pm ET) to seek the good in itself—together—and think through these questions in conversation:
- What challenges stand in the way of forming friendships today? How can these be overcome?
- Is “truth” something necessarily social? Why/not?
- What lessons about friendship and the good can we discern from Fr. Schall’s “Final Gladness”?
philosophical happy hour
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Come join us for drinks (adult or otherwise) and a meaningful conversation. Open to the public! Held every Wednesday from 5:45–7:15pm ET.
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